Texas 2 Danielle BIG fat 0!!!

It truly amazes me some of the things that have happened! I mean really how can a person get divorced and not have any idea until they receive the decree in the mail? How can there be a child support order without even knowing? How is it possible that they expect me to raise them on such a small amount? Really Texas? You truly have to be the most backwards state! But, it's okay! You just might have won rounds one and two, but three and four will be mine!!! So, until then...

Update

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have"

I have not blogged in a long time, as the whole reason I started this was for Michael. So, that when he was deployed he would have an idea of what was going on in our lives. But, as you can see from the last post...things changed. Life changed! 9 months after that post, almost to the day we got divorced. I can honestly say, that the day I received the decree in the mail I felt a since of relief. Like so much weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

This last month has been beyond stressful! As, along with the decree came the fact that Schyler lost his medical and I lost child support. I went from having a nice chunk of money in savings to trying to figure out what bill was more important to pay. I'm still there, and am more then certain the next few months will be the same way. The important part is, I'm finding a way to do it. We don't have the ability to buy all kinds of new toys and go on random shopping sprees, but at the end of the day we're happy! We have a roof over our heads and food to eat. I'm refinding my frugal ways and back to hunting coupons down!

I'm being challenged now, and that's fine. As I know when this is all over I'll be able to look back and see that I made it through...that we made it through. Until then, I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing!

Changes

Things are changing second by second, minute by minute. Big changes are about to happen, and I truly understand that not all will agree with what happens or what I'm doing. In this situation there are only 5 people that matter at this point in the time. My children, Michael, and myself. What happens in my marriage is between Michael and I. No one else. Yes, you all are entitled to your opinion of what you think should happen. I will listen open ears, but can't say I'll follow your advice. There are things that need to be changed, and I certainly do not expect someone to mold to what I want them to be. And this is where we are at. I need more.

I'm very disappointed in those that I thought were my friends who automatically assume that this is happening because of someone else in my life. If asked I'm more the 100% certain Michael will tell you the problems that we are having and that they have been there for a while. This isn't something that grew over night. But, quite honestly if it was because of someone else in my life it really isn't anyone else's business.

There are people in my life, I have discovered that I truly have some great friends. Friends that are willing to fly down and help me do whatever it is needed to be done. Their friends willing to help and offer a place for me to stay. While I have NEVER met them. Seriously, there are people like this left? I'm overwhelmed by the support I have received and am very grateful.

It does not happen over night

I made it to my goal! This is the smallest I have been since I had Schyler. I have a little ways to go until I'll be where I really want to be, but I'm getting there. I'm doing this! I have a lot of toning to do, but all in time. I did not get where I was over night, thus it will not happen over night. I have a pair pants that I wore when I worked at Great American. Does anyone know how long ago that was? I'll tell you, 2001...This is the only piece of clothing that I have left from that time in my life. I found them today while cleaning our closet out...I thought to myself "ahh I'll just give it a try, it'll show me how much harder I have to work." I pulled them up and the FIT!!! I can't say the belly looks as good as it did in them, 9 years ago. But, I could put them on and sit and they are not tight at all.

Just an update of sorts:

It's been a little while since I actually did an update. I mainly started this to keep Michael up to date with things, but thanks to the magic jack and technology I have been really lucky and gotten to talk to him pretty much every day. Some days for hours at a time. So, days like that he knows VERY little thing I did.

Today, I got to talk to Schyler. For those that don't know he's in NY visiting family. He seems to be having so much fun. The excitement in his voice just blow me away tonight. I miss him, but am so glad that he's having fun. He's doing so many different things and he's loving it.

Ethan has been such a BIG boy these last few nights. He's slept in his bed all night 3 nights in a row. I am so proud of him! Though, it is beyond lonely in bed for me it's about time he gets back to sleeping in his own bed.

Xavier is just getting way too big. He is walking or shall I say running around everywhere getting into everything. He's such a little man, who copies his brother on everything he does. If his brother is on the couch Xavier is running to sit on it too.

I am. I've been feeling pretty crappy for a while and have a pretty crappy doctor. He acknowledge that something was going on and something was wrong, but yet said he wasn't going to "chase" down the problem. Really? Also, knowing that cancer runs in my family decided that I didn't need yearly check ups for womanly things as I have 3 kids and am married. Hmmmmph!!!

I'm starting to wonder if having a Doctor that is so close is worth it. I mean I'm willing to drive to Temple or Harker Heights if it means getting a doctor who will actually try and find out whats wrong instead of blowing things off. It's not like it's the first bad experience I had with this office either. In March I had strep got treated and still had it. I went back doctor said it's allergies go take some clartain. A month later still feeling crappy I finally went back to test positive for strep. Mind you the 2nd time they didn't even do a strep test. So yeah, I think it's time to find a new doctor.

I ate myself FAT

After I had Xavier, I made it my plan to lose all the weight that I had gained with him. Which, I did for the most part minus 10 or so lbs. But, I was happy with where I was at for the most part. Then, November rolled around it was time for us to start the moving process. The movers came right before Thanksgiving to get all of our stuff. We then went to NY for the holiday to spend it with my parents. After, Thanksgiving we went straight to temp lodging where we spent 2 weeks. Not having all the pots and pans, dishes, and such that you need to cook a good healthy meal, we ate out a lot. This continued pretty much until we got to Debbie's house late December. Keep in mind I had not been exercising. We got our house in January and started cooking and getting life back to normal. However, I still continued to eat all the wrong things and a very large amount. Some how, it became routine to stop at this very yummy donut place every morning and get a few donuts. Of course I had to get extra, who knows maybe I would want a donut or two for lunch right?

I joined GymX in February and I actually loved it there, but for almost $500 I should! I went for a few months, though I had it in my head that I just worked out it won't hurt to hit up Sonic on the way home. This continued pretty much until May.

As my little man was turning 1, I realised this wasn't "baby weight" I had LOST pretty much all of my "baby weight" this was just plan FAT!!! There's no other word to describe it. I ate myself fat! Then, when we got our family pictures back I realised how truly FAT I had gotten. One of my favorite pictures of us, is also one of the ones I hate the most. I've always had a big butt...always. But, this had gotten way out of hand.

I have a very loving husband who's loved me at my smallest and my oh so largest. I'm lucky for that. He's always thought I was beautiful no matter if I was dolled up from head to toe or just in pj's, no make up, and my hair looking like a "tornado" ran through.

Since April, which was Michael's latest TDY I made some goals that I have talked about before. First, being Xavier to sleep through the night. Second, Ethan (and Schyler when he gets home) to start sleeping in their own room. Third, being I want to weigh as much as I did before kids. Granted, I know things will not be as smooth and tight as they once were...but I want to be a healthy weight. When I got pregnant with Schyler I weighed 1XX and now I'm only 5lbs away from that number!!!

I have really only been watching my food intake and have lost 25lbs. This week I started to incorporate actually working out. Rather it be jumping on the trampoline with the boys, (which is one hell of a work out) to working out with my ball and using my kiddos as weights, or doing boot camp. I really want to get back in the gym, but I think I'll be easier to do when school starts up. As I'll be already up all kids out the door and on the road.

My big boys!!!

On Michael's last TDY I made a goal that I would get Xavier sleeping through the night. I set up the pack n play in the boys room as they don't sleep in there and Xavier was at that time in our room. To my amazement he started sleeping through the night. Then, Grandma came and started sharing a room with him. We're not sure who was keeping who up. But, needless to say Xavier stopped sleeping through the night. Shortly after, Michael deployed I did a lot of rearranging. I took away the playroom that the boys had. It's not like they were actually playing in it as they had enough toys to supply a small villiage and always had to get them all out. Which resulted them in having NO room to play. I got rid of a good share of the toys and moved them all into "their" bedroom. The playroom then became Xavier's room. And once again he started sleeping through the night. Success!!!

Now, with this deployment my goal is to get Ethan and Schyler to start sleeping in their room again. Ever since we PCS'ed Ethan has slept with us and Schyler on the couch. We never actually pushed for them to sleep in their room. But, it's now time. Tonight is night one of Ethan in his own bed. He is NOT sleeping yet, but we are working on it. Here's to waking up tomorrow morning in my own bed, by myself.

"Daddy run away"

Conversation with Ethan this morning:

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!!!"

"Yes, Ethan?"

"Daddy run away."

"No, baby Daddy's working."

"NO DADDY RUN AWAY."

Magic Jack

A few months before Michael deployed we talked about getting the magic jack. We thought about getting one for the house, as it would save a little money each month. But, we decided against it. In the first package I sent to Michael, I sent one along with a phone. After, 3 weeks he finally got it yesterday and hooked it up last night. Around 9:30pm I received a call, but only heard static. Then, a few more calls and just static. Then, the phone rang again and I could finally hear him. It is not the best quality, but concidering he's in Afghanistan it's better then nothing. If he speaks S...L...O...W...L...Y I could understand him. He is suppose to upgrade his internet so hopefully that will help. If not over all not much was lost and I'm sure we can use it when he gets home.

Rice Krispie Treats...Fair...and more!!!

I've been trying to think of some different yummy stuff to send to the hubby that the boys can help make. So, this morning we woke up an made some yummy rice krispie treats.
Ethan was the butter melter.

He was so proud of himself, and happy to help out! Anything for his Daddy.

Schyler, waited patiently for the butter to melt.

Then, he added the marshmallows.

Mama melted the marshmallows.

And then Xavier and Mama added the rice krispies.

Grandma made them all nice and flat in the pan.

After, a parade in downtown Belton, we went home and took a nap. When we woke up it was cloudy, but not raining for once. So, we headed over to the fair. Though for some reason it was closed until 5pm. We walked around and checked out the venders. Grandma found a ring for her friend. After, some food it was time to go check out the fair and ride some rides.

Schyler being the helpful brother that he is helped Ethan in.

They went up really high in these. Ethan wasn't too sure about it.

But, he loved the trucks.

Schyler wasn't all that sure, until the ride started.

After a few rides, we played one game and called it a night. For some reason this little fair was beyond expensive, but seeing that I promised them we would go I had to follow through with it. So, it was short and sweet. Hopefully, something will be more reasonable priced soon.

Rodeo: Belton, Texas

Tonight, I had the honor to be escorted to the Rodeo by TWO very handsome cowboys. Don't worry Michael, they were perfect gentlemen. Who stood when it was time to honor the wonderful men and women who have fought and are fighting for our freedom.
They happen to be the most handsomest cowboys I have ever laid eyes on.

Our date started with a trip to Sonic. Ethan prefers the corn dog.

While Schyler preferred the cheeseburger.

After a high calorie dinner, we headed to the rodeo. Where I found a pink hat, that I later changed for a white one.

Ethan enjoyed some cotton candy pre-rodeo.

Then, the 1st Calv. scared the crap out of him with their guys and cannon. He decided to high tail it to grandma.

Schyler, being the army enthusiast that he is, LOVED the cannon and guns.

Over all it was another great day! Which means we are one day closer to having my love home.

July 1st

I can't believe it's July 1st already. Time has gone by at a pretty decent rate. Schyler and my Mom leave next week for New York. Has she really been here almost 2 months already? How can that be? How can my little baby almost be 14 months old??? How in the world is it possible that NEXT month I'll have a 1st grader and another in preschool? Seriously, how did so much time pass that Ethan will be old enough to be going to school?

Hair Cuts!!!

My boys were starting to look a little shaggy, so Grandma decided it was time for a hair cut.

While we waited, Grandma read Schyler and book while I read Ethan and Xavier another book.
We finished our book, and still where waiting. Ethan, being his daddy's son got a little impatient.

Xavier, with his hair that could have held hair clips waited ever so patiently for his turn.

After, a not so long wait Schyler walked out shorting his skin on the sides, high fade, with spikes.

Ethan left with a fade and some front spikes.

Xavier, got a nice little boys hair cut. We can't have him looking to old to fast.

Though, all three received pretty nice hair cuts, I think it's time I learn how to do it myself. As with tip we left spending $40 on hair cuts. Oyyyy!!!

Trip to BLORA

Wednesday, we took a last minute trip to BLORA, for some swimming, sand castle making, and a trip to a playground!
Schyler, being the bigger brother needed the bigger shovel.

Ethan, is just sitting back and watching Schyler do the work. ;)

While, Xavier par-takes in an all sand diet.

After a refreshing swim we headed off to the playground to do a little rock climbing. Schyler made it to the top...

With Ethan right on his tail.

Thank you FREE MAIL

I have been pretty lucky this deployment and have gotten to talk to Michael pretty much every day since he's been in Afghanistan. Today, is the first day that I did not receive a call or talk to him online. Thankfully, the mail women was nice to me and brought me a letter from him. I know that this deployment will not be like the last one where he was able call me and talk to me for ever before he had to go. Or if he had to go he could call right back. I have been so lucky, he's been willing to stand in line and wait to call me. (Those that know him, know that he is NOT a patient man.) Or he has gotten online and we've been able to talk there.

Dessert 1st, dinner 2nd!!!

We've made it through another wonderful day. I woke up to a yahoo message from my love, and then shortly a phone call from him. It was a nice surprise, as the last few days we've talked through yahoo which is great as I get to see and hear him. But, there is just something about getting a phone call. <3

Today, was Schyler's library summer camp. Ethan and Xavier we're being a little loud so the three of us went and waited in the van for Schyler and Grandma. They both appeared to have a good time when they came out. Today it was a science lesson involving mixing different things together. Such as Milk, Dawn, and food color. Then, pushing the food coloring around with a q-tip dipped in dawn.

After some playing and a nap we then made a trip to Old Navy. Shhhhhh don't tell Michael. They are having a great sale, 30% off everything in the store. So, I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out. I got both of the boys a few pairs of pants for school. I know it's a couple months away, but I can't see paying more later on.

And what's a better way to end a good day, then eating dessert before dinner? So, we stopped at the ice cream stand and got some yummy treats.

Ethan and Schyler got a Tiger's Blood Sno-Cone.



Seeing that we are in the Belton school district which happens to be the Belton Tiger's I found it only fitting.

While Xavier and I shared a Junior vanilla. However, being just like his daddy and all he had to have a little of everyone Else's.

Pictures from the weekend

This is the face of a little boy who was just scared to death by a couple camels that stuck their head in both windows and wrapped it around to the 2nd row seat to steal a bag of feed. He was scared to death, took off running to the last row and Schyler dropped bellow the dash board of the van to try and avoid them. This little Zebra tried to steal a bag of food right out of my hand. I managed to save half of it.

I can believe how friendly the animals are.

After the safari we went to Grandma Debbie's for a swim.

The Fleshman boys seem to have down the big bottom lip pout. See take a look at Ethan a few months other then what Xman is now.

Catch up time

Well, my last post format is all messed up and I give up on trying to fix it. I'm not sure why, but I am having a hard time posting pictures. Maybe, I just have to get into a routine to type everything out and then upload pictures or upload pictures all at once then type it out. Hmmmm, trial and error I guess.

Sunday ended with us going back out to Debbie's for a nice swim in the pool. The boys seriously, love the water. And after some food and a swim Joe was kind enough to add more stuff to my A/C.

Monday, was a pretty lazy Monday. We waited around for the UPS guy to bring the software for my new computer, which should be coming today! Then, made a trip to walmart to pick up a few things. While in Walmart my blood sugar dropped, which is always no fun. However, the boys were extremely good and the associates at walmart were beyond helpful. I can't get over how kind and giving Texans are. I've always said I wasn't meant to be from NY as it's too damn cold there. I think I finally have found where I am suppose to be from. Haha.

Drive Thru Safari

Xavier was all full of smiles when he saw Michael on the webcam and heard his voice. He couldn't get over the fact that his daddy was in the computer and he could hear him. Ever since Michael has left all this boy says is "Dada". He misses him so much, and doesn't understand that he isn't around, but perked right up when he heard his voice.

Today, we ventured to Topsey Exotic Ranch, which is pretty much a drive thru safari. There were so many different animals there that were so friendly. They would just walk up to the car or come running when they heard the sound of the engine. Then, they would follow you when you started to drive away.

Schyler and Ethan were both loving feeding the animals. Ethan sat on my lap and Schyler on my mom's as we drove through. We ended up going around twice because we had some extra food left.

Ethan took the van for a spin towards the end of our first trip around .

Though, I think he's been paying a little to close attention to me as I'm driving. Check out the cell phone in his hand. ;)